Light Bulbs

I made a comercial a few months ago. I still haven’t seen it on tv and I’ve tried searching the internet. I guess maybe if I watched tv on occasion there would be a higher chance of me seeing it! It was for Icy Hot and Gold Bond with Shaquille O’Neal. I’m the lady using the rowing machine and suffer from sudden painful knee problems lol. If anyone sees it let me know!!

We filmed in early December so it was freezing and of course wardrobe puts me in tiny workout shorts and a tank. It was in a lovely home that had a living room with giant glass walls that looked out to a pool and cabana. It was easy to put myself into character and enjoy my lovely yard while working out!

The hard thing about it, besides the cold, was the expectation that an actress has a perfect body. Which I don’t. I work out, but it isn’t my life.Ii’m also a mom and a busy person who really loves food. So i’m in good shape but I have some lumps and bumps and I dreaded it when I saw the booty shorts they pulled out. I tend to wear workout shorts that go longer, or capris! I heard two people having a conversation while I got into place that actresses shouldn’t have fat and it made me sad. Of course I wish I didn’t have fat, and no wonder it’s so hard on women actors trying to be perfect.

This week I was helping film a new tv show and I met an actress I have loved watching on screen. Its always amazing to meet actors we admire in person and see they have normal skin, a few wrinkles and some lumps of their own. It’s amazing what the crew does with makeup, great lighting and some editing. I wish I could walk around in the perfect lighting all the time.

Perhaps in our heads we insist on seeing our selves with ugly fluorescent lighting. How do we build up some beautiful warm lights in our mind to see our best selves and to be kinder in our self assessment?

Bedtime Sweets

My two youngest children who stay with me every other week and make it glorious, have begun a new night time ritual. I am sure it won’t last for obvious reasons, but I think it can easily transition.

We share a fresh mango every night before bed. We have been eating dried mangos for years and everyone loves them, so when I saw a box of very lovely looking mangos at Costco one week I brought them home and thus it began. I’m not actually very good at cutting them, but I don’t think that hurts them. I dream about the mangos I’ve read about in books the size of footballs fresh off the trees.

We stand around the counter and share more thoughts about the day or whats going on in our lives. We laugh and eat sweet slices of heaven right before disappearing into our rooms.

I am so grateful. I will need to find a new fruit perhaps? When is mango season over?

I found a lovely recipe I want to try when I can’t get fresh mango

Dairy Free Mango Lassis

3 Heaping cups frozen mango

Juice of 1 large lemon

3 cups coconut milk

1/4 cup honey

Combine in a high power blender or food processor and process until smooth and blended. Serve immediately. 

Or this recipe  and add mango. I actually helped film all the shots on this page from February on. 🙂 fun fact

 

Green Enchiladas

I love when a good menu week works out! I made a crockpot pork roast on Monday, I cook it on high with 20 oz of coke, chili powder,  9 oz taco sauce some garlic and other spices all day. Then I shred it with more spices and tomatillo sauce and serve it with what my kids call green rice and make it into tacos or burrito bowls.

I buy the pork roast from Costco so it makes quite a bit of meat. Last night I made some of the leftovers into green enchiladas. I looked at the cans of enchilada sauce on the shelf, but I thought I could probably make my own and I am so glad I did!

One of ingredients I couldn’t find was a yellow pepper so I substituted 2 habanero peppers which made it pretty spicy. Luckily my family loves a little kick in everything we eat! The kids loved these so much the last one even went in my daughters lunch box today!

Try this recipe I found online. It calls for only 6 tortillas in a 9×13 pan, I used more like 12. I’m not sure if that was me putting too little pork in each corn tortilla or a mistake on the website. But I think 12 was about right to fill the pan.

I like to make a Salsa Verde Sauce when I make the pork tacos, and we had some leftover to put on top of the enchiladas after they were done baking. It’s also good on salads and pretty much any vegetable.

1/2 cup salsa verde

1/2 Tbsp lime or 1/2 fresh squeezed lime

1/2 milk

1/2 mayo

1/2 cup sour cream

1 pkg ranch mix

1 cup cilantro, fresh loosely packed leaves

5 stalks green onions

garlic to taste

1/2 tsp salt

blend and chill

Bedtime in Fort Worth

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I have a love of sleeping and sunshine. Anytime I can put the two together I am in a happy place! After not sleeping for around 48 hours, seeing my hotel bed bathed in streams of sunset I was out for the count. I managed to mumble an apology to my son for going to sleep before 8pm and invited  him to rent a movie if he got bored and I remember nothing more.

Growing Pains

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My daughter choose to sleep over tonight!! This is very exciting! The kids mostly sleep in the house they grew up in which my ex kept in the divorce. I’m not in a hurry to force them to stay over, they are dealing with so many new things and situations, I figure if sleeping in the rooms they have been in for 14 years gives them security thats great. This makes it a big deal when someone wants to sleep at my house.

As I was loading her in my car my ex came out and was telling me privately the things I needed to make sure she did that night at my house. One of these was a girl issue that I wasn’t even aware she was having. Not THE issue,  luckily she hasn’t started that one yet, but one of the things leading up to it. And no one told me. Did it seem like the ex was gloating a bit as he unveiled personal information that as a mother I should have been the one to help her with? yes. Did he know it affected me? No, lol I am an actress after all.

Tonight as we were laying in her bed talking about her day and life,  I asked how this issue was going. I asked if she had any other questions, to remember, I am a girl after all, and I could be a good person to ask.  I told her I am so grateful that she has such a good relationship with her dad that she can discuss these things with him as well. I deserve a big ‘ole pat on the back for that one. He deserves a kick in the butt for calling his sister and not me. It’s his thing though, he likes to feel like he can replace me and alienate me from my kids. This comes from the hurt he feels and I get it.

Life is happening, she is growing up so fast and I won’t always be the one closest to help, I’m glad she is learning how to reach out.

Sunshine On My Shoulders Makes Me Happy

IMG_1428Remember the Garfield comics? Every time the cat Garfield crossed a patch of sunlight he fell asleep, sometimes he would attempt to go around it, or show that he was capable of walking through it without sleeping, but it never worked. I am Garfield.

In the house I lived in for the last 14 years I knew where the best patches of sunlight were, and what time frame I could best sit in them. All winter long when I was craving sunlight I knew where and when I could lay in them. But they were small patches and mostly on the hardwood floor. But hey, desperate time, desperate measures.

My new house has a large patch of sun right on my bed, everyday! This is such a happy place for me. I can sit there in comfort and feel the sun sink into my skin and bones. Sometimes I wake up as the sun leaves the bed and i’m hot and maybe a little groggy for sleeping in the middle of the day, but I sure love it. I have all white sheets and comforter so it can be a blinding patch of sun lol. When I don’t have time to stay long just seeing it makes me feel happy and a little warmer.

Isn’t it all about the simple things, the small things that make you happy?  Random hugs, a really cold coke, my latest anthem coming on the radio right when I need a cheerleader?

There is a post going around Facebook from a man whose wife was killed in the Paris attacks. I cried my way through it, his message is so beautiful and haunting. His point was to choose happiness. It was the only post or thought I wanted share about the attacks. I can’t imagine the pain and loss happening not just in Paris, but the various cities around the world being attacked. But this man is choosing happiness. I will choose happiness, in my own small tragedies of failed marriage and kids who are going down paths that will hurt them and me. I will seek out the sunshine and not hide in sorrow and shadows.

partly kind of a empty nester

Currently my children are 20, 18, 16, and 13. I knew that I was getting somewhat close to being a empty nester but I hadn’t yet begun to practice only feeding one person, or only doing laundry for one. Now that they only live with me half of the month I am thrust into this new territory. I feel so guilty running such small loads of laundry but if I wait to have a full  load I will be forced to do the laundry naked because it would require everything I own. I have forgotten to feed myself more then cereal on more then one occasion simply because I am used to making big meals. There are lovely parts to this however. When I clean my bathrooms they stay clean, my shoes aren’t hiding in my daughters closet, my special occasion cokes are still in the fridge. And today no one is rolling their eyes at the music I choose to blast through my apartment while cleaning. #choosehappiness

Broken Heart, Hungry Belly, My Adventure Into Celiacs

In April of this year I was diagnosed with Celiacs. I didn’t believe the doctor even after a biopsy where he witnessed the damage first had and labeled it “catastrophic” in his notes. They ordered me to have a blood test and after this came back as a 2nd witness I believed and my life has changed.

I am a foodie. I love to bake, cook and eat just about everything. Some of my favorite foods are Krispy Kreme doughnuts hot off the rack and dripping with lard and glaze, croissants with dark chocolate cooked inside or with Nutella spread over every bite, sourdough bread, bread, bread and bread. This has made my diagnosis a little hard to accept. But now that I am aware of how my body feels after consuming food with gluten I may dislike that more then I hate not eating my favorite foods.

Before this event I used to mock the gluten free trend, when I saw gluten free labeled on swedish fish I totally made fun of it, I mean really, swedish fish?? Now I am grateful for every label that helps me not to worry. When I am eating out I have learned to ask the waiter if the oil they cook the fries or tortilla chips is contaminated and more often then not it is. I learned that one the hard way. I ate some of my favorite french fries at Houston’s and forgot to ask and I was sick for several days, I was disappointed that for such a amazing restaurant they do not have a gluten free menu and there isn’t very much that is safe on their menu for someone like me to eat. This has sent me to find apps on my phone that warn me where I can eat and where to avoid. I use Find Me GF and Yelp to leave comments for others searching for safe foods.

I have found strength and knowledge through blogs, websites even social media like Facebook and Instagram. It helps me feel less alone and I am able to learn about my new way of cooking and eating. When I find a new recipe that replaces something I used to love but can’t have it is so exciting! I found a recipe that even replaces my beloved Pad Thai and when I cooked it for a man that I’m pretty much crazy about, he labeled it amazing and ate what I couldn’t finish off my plate. Lol a good sign, Bangkok Coconut Curry Noodle Bowls.

I would love any recipe recommendations!! Here are some of my favorite blogs about Celiacs

The Gluten Dude

Day in the Life

Surviving Halloween

Halloween 2000

I survived my first holiday as a single mom without my kids. I had a little help from my friends and family thank goodness! My little brother drove 6 hours with his wife and adorable 3 little kids to spend Halloween weekend with me. I was able to have my kids over for a few hours on Saturday before they went to halloween activities. But I missed seeing them dressed up and waiting up for them to hear how their night went.  I know if my family hadn’t been here I would have been very lonely even when handing out candy to kids and meeting all my new neighbors. Being a mom is so exhausting and time consuming, and I used to fantasize about some time to myself. No one bothering me when I’m sitting on the toliet or relaxing in the tub. And don’t get me wrong I do love some of the time I have to myself now, and things stay where I put them and my leftover Ghiradeli cheesecake is right where I left it!! Holidays are a different beast however. Maybe I don’t just miss my kids presence, I miss their younger selves as well. Truly only one of my 4 kids is young enough to dress up and trick r treat without raising eyebrows. I miss the little versions of them running through the neighborhood and exclaiming in glee whenever someone gave them more then one piece of candy. I loved walking my new neighborhood my nephews and niece, who pronounced it the best night ever after the first house.

I think the key to surviving the burnt bridges is finding joy in the journey. Like being in love with that one piece of candy rather then waiting for a overfull bag.

#halloween #singlemom #burntbridges