About 5 minutes after telling the kids about our upcoming divorce my daughter who was 12, asked if I would then buy her a dog. My ex has severe allergies and asthma and the kids couldn’t ever let the idea of pets go. In the last year she still hasn’t let it go. And there was a big part of me that wanted to give that to them.
Everyone who knows me and I actually listen to has told me that dogs wouldn’t work for me right now. My schedule is erratic with work and they can be expensive, and I would listen… mostly. Then one day one of those same people, my best friend called to say there was a dog at the shelter who desperately needed a foster home and I would be perfect. She was a rescue from what is called the griffen mud dogs, she was neglected and left in cages along with 30-50 other dogs living in mud and poop. She was in the shelter for a year and not adopted. Her online profile says she needs a saint.
They weren’t kidding. She won’t let us within 5 feet of her. The only time we can pet her is when we get her on a car ride and she is so mesmerized by the ride we can touch her without her flinching but eventually she looks at us through baleful eyes for ruining her ride and moves out of reach again. She only eats food if we toss her a piece at a time and only if she feels like it. I let her play in a fenced yard without her leash on and it took us 3 hours to corral her back into the house because she wanted to keep sleeping in the lettuce. I’m told by my friend that she just needs time and I’m told by another that my life is too complicated for a dog especially one that won’t bring me joy. One child think we should take her back, this is the one who had to chase her down when she slipped through my legs at midnight and raced off. It’s a miracle he caught her. Two of my other kids think I’m terrible for even considering taking her back. As of now we are her foster family, so she can go back.
She never barks
She doesn’t have accidents in the house
She sleeps for long periods of time so isn’t as bored when I work.
Can’t pet her
She doesn’t come when I say even when she really wants to go on that walk
Won’t jump in my car, I have to load her into a crate and then into my car
Looks at me like I’m planning on cooking her for dinner
I had a lovely family reunion last week in Bear Lake Idaho. I think the final count was 26 people in a large cabin by the lake. It was the first time my entire family has been together in 6 years or so. My kids are the oldest of the grandkids and so we did a few things on our own so they could have adventure.
On the plane trip over I saw a Instagram of someone doing a yoga type move on top of a mountain at sunset and I showed my gymnast son. We both agreed it was a awesome video and that he needed something like it lol. We couldn’t get to the top of the big mountain but we did climb this one and find the perfect rock for him to do his move on. And then of course he had to do it shirtless so we could properly see the muscles it takes to do it. My kids are used to the fact i need pictures of just about everything and I enjoy when they want the picture as well.
As a mom of 3 boys and a sister to 3 brothers I have always felt a kinship when I see other moms of 3 boys. I feel it with all moms, no matter how many kids of course. But this felt like we knew something about each others lives. I always wanted us to high 5 or do a knowing super hero nod to each other.
For this purpose I started a Facebook page a few years ago Mom of boys, there are others that are really closely named lol. I’ve only had maybe 150-200 followers and I mostly post little memes that I find, little pictures.
A few months ago a fellow mom blogger asked me to write a blog post for them and they tied to to my Facebook account, and all of a sudden in the last 5 days I went from 500 followers to 5000! It was such a fun week to watch the numbers climb higher then I ever dreamed! I believe it is slowing down but I was so amazed! I’ve been responding to all comments and posting a little more often and even creating a few memes of my own to help be interesting. I don’t know if it will last , but it feels like a cosmic pat on the back.
This is the link to my page. If you go there let me know what you think!
I remember the night in the hospital when I held my first child, a son. I wrote graduation speeches, practiced wedding toasts. I was a little delirious from the drugs I admit. But I don’t think I’m the only one that begins to plan their future from the first moment
Not many of my plans worked out very well. Turns out kids come with their own personality and this spawns ideas and plans of their own. Some days I love the ride and the journey of it, they are so much more then I could have ever imagined. Some days I feel like my heart is breaking from the pain and loss, to see them go down hard paths that won’t end well. When they blame you for everything, point out all your faults in detail. Those days suck.
I find it’s important to let go. Let go of the fantasy, let go of the planning, it’s practice for letting them go. I can’t believe my son graduates from high school in 2 short weeks! I can’t wait to be done with his life in high school! School with him has been difficult. He is very smart but not at all interested in sitting in a class room.
A few weeks ago our church put together a night to celebrate all the graduates. They asked the parents to submit photos of their child growing up and prepare a small speech about their child. I didn’t know about it until 10 minutes after it ended. My ex didn’t tell me about it and he was receiving all the emails and requests. He called right after it ended to casually mention where they had been. I have been the photographer of their lives, the keeper of the scrapbooks and photo albums. I have been waiting to show anyone my kids growing up. My ex sent in a few pictures he had on his phone and Facebook. My son had half the time the other kids had. I have had a really hard time letting this one go. I called my son and cried that I hadn’t been there and that I hadn’t known. He laughed and told me he hadn’t even wanted to go and didn’t know I wasn’t invited. But this is my child who has always been sensitive to things and people around him, I know somewhere inside it was another strike on him from the divorce.
Next week he gets his yearbook. I made his senior post and chose the pictures and the really awesome Tony Hawk quote (my son is a major skateboarder lol). I have that.