Friends Are the Spice of Life

About 10 years ago I was sitting in a McDonalds with my 4 young kids. I believe my oldest was only about 10, and we didn’t normally sit in the playground at McDonalds but I had spent the morning at the elementary school with a committee debating reenrolling one of my boys back in school instead of homeschool.

A woman walked in with 2 kids and began talking to me almost immediately. I was not normally very talkative with strangers, and I wondered if she would ever go sit by herself. We spent over a hour with our kids playing and talking. She had just moved to my area less then a hour before and was only at McDonalds because she didn’t know anything or anyone in the area. Before we left we exchanged phone numbers and I laughed because I hadn’t given someone my phone number since my dating years.

Well she called and we hung out and I slowly became used to the fact that she is loud and talkative with absolutely anyone. I stopped being embarrassed when she talked to every clerk, bagger, waiter, stranger in the store and slowly began doing the same. She taught me to be confident and open up. One of her favorite things is to mention things or make jokes that make me blush, I am still an easy target.

She is my best friend. When my marriage ended she gave me courage and strength. She didn’t encourage me to leave but once I had my mind made up she gave me everything I needed to stay strong and finish the course. Sometimes I have moments of doubt on this difficult coarse I choose and wonder if I should have stayed on the safe path. She reminds me of how strong I am, and how brave I have become, and I can’t seem to hear it enough. We have been through so much, with our difficulties raising kids, husbands, health. I don’t know if I would be whole or sane without her support. I am so grateful that she doesn’t get sick of giving me the same advice over and over again because it’s hard. It’s not that I am a slow learner, it’s changing habits and feelings about myself takes a lot of time since I spent many years creating bad ones or accepting others poor opinions of me.

I believe that girlfriends are so important and I am blessed in mine.

 

Music for the Soul

Some of the advice I’ve gotten about dealing with divorce,  didn’t make sense at the time but then one day a light bulb goes off and I see what they were saying. My brother told me to not watch romantic movies, or listen to love songs, especially if they are sad love songs. Some days I am fine with all of those, and others I completely see what he was talking about.

There is a song by Brandi Carlile that I love. I love the words and it doesn’t make me sad to listen to it, I think she is singing about the kind of love that I aspire to, someone who knows me and my stories (plus it’s super fun to sing really loud in my car),

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don’t mean anything
When you’ve got no one to tell them to
It’s true… I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do and I was made for you

You see the smile that’s on my mouth
It’s hiding the words that don’t come out
And all of my friends who think that I’m blessed
They don’t know my head is a mess
No, they don’t know who I really am
And they don’t know what I’ve been through like you do
And I was made for you…

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I’ve been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don’t mean anything
When you’ve got no one to tell them to
It’s true… I was made for you

Oh yeah, well it’s true… that
I was made for you…

I love having theme songs, for the day or the month, music that I can play and know I will feel better after. One of my favorites to blast right now is by The Struts, Everybody Wants. Kind of a loud rocker song but the words do something for me right now. Music does things for the soul and mood that nothing else can.

Do you have a favorite go to song or anthem??

Surviving Halloween

Halloween 2000

I survived my first holiday as a single mom without my kids. I had a little help from my friends and family thank goodness! My little brother drove 6 hours with his wife and adorable 3 little kids to spend Halloween weekend with me. I was able to have my kids over for a few hours on Saturday before they went to halloween activities. But I missed seeing them dressed up and waiting up for them to hear how their night went.  I know if my family hadn’t been here I would have been very lonely even when handing out candy to kids and meeting all my new neighbors. Being a mom is so exhausting and time consuming, and I used to fantasize about some time to myself. No one bothering me when I’m sitting on the toliet or relaxing in the tub. And don’t get me wrong I do love some of the time I have to myself now, and things stay where I put them and my leftover Ghiradeli cheesecake is right where I left it!! Holidays are a different beast however. Maybe I don’t just miss my kids presence, I miss their younger selves as well. Truly only one of my 4 kids is young enough to dress up and trick r treat without raising eyebrows. I miss the little versions of them running through the neighborhood and exclaiming in glee whenever someone gave them more then one piece of candy. I loved walking my new neighborhood my nephews and niece, who pronounced it the best night ever after the first house.

I think the key to surviving the burnt bridges is finding joy in the journey. Like being in love with that one piece of candy rather then waiting for a overfull bag.

#halloween #singlemom #burntbridges